FANZINE is an online literary magazine, as I mentioned on my main Literary page.
Click on the links below to read PDFs of my FANZINE work.
More to come!
Breeders, Part 1: Semen Collection Deep in the Heart of Dubya April 19, 2006
Breeders, Part 2: The Jewish Question February 27, 2007
Big Horses: A Triple Crown Report
And here are links to more recent work:
FANZINE, “100 Percent Handsome”
Last modified on 2009-12-08 06:44:39 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
I meant to post this a while back. It’s a story about my dog Nubbin:
He’s always been a soldier with those cigarette burns on his legs, his insanely defined haunches, and the single teardrop tattooed just under each tear duct. He’ll growl at you if you crowd him, but when he’s pleased with himself, he’ll strut around like a pimp in a lime green suit.
And the girls, they love him. The more articulate give him pet names like “Handsome Man” or “Golden Man” or even “Handsome Golden Man.” The others just pant and whine.
He keeps them mostly at a distance. Otherwise, “it’s Love American Style,” he says in his Cajun-flavored diction. “I get you pregnant, and you go on welfare for a while.”
His tail, broken at its midpoint, juts forward over his torso like a boomerang, its tip flickering at the slightest bit of interest as he sniffs a tree for his latest pee-mail. When he’s excited, it waves like a flag. Relaxed it sweeps the floor, the way I imagine his birth mother’s does more ominously while she suns herself on the banks of Lake Pontchartrain.
If you haven’t figured it out, we’re talking about Nubbin, half-Chihuahua, half-alligator, and 100% handsome.
Complete Story: 100 Percent Handsome
FANZINE, “Online Help”
Last modified on 2009-12-08 06:48:38 GMT. 0 comments. Top.
Wow! Something not technology related!
This piece is titled “Online Help.”
In 1997, after a five-year hiatus, I returned to the law firm of ____, ____, ____, ____ & ____, this time in its downtown L.A. office. I was doing the same basic proofreading job that I had done in New York, but because the office was smaller, I was assigned simple paralegal jobs and held the title Legal Assistant.
That June, one of the few official proofreaders, a kind, well-spoken Vietnam veteran who admired my proofreading ability and complimented me by telling another proofreader that he would want me in his foxhole, went on disability. In his place the legal assistant supervisor, a dull pregnant woman who was probably considered pretty by sorority standards 15 years earlier and who another employee likened to a Polish prison guard at Auschwitz — not fundamentally evil but the sort who loved her job — hired his temporary replacement from a local employment agency.
The temp’s name was Christine, Chris for short, and she was a vaguely Asian-looking though probably Caucasian woman in her early 50s. She had a round, gaunt face with black permed hair and wore glasses with large square frames and swooping end pieces that connected at the bottom of the eye rims. Her rawboned frame suggested copious doses of Dexedrine, as did her non-stop chattering, which assailed me as I tried to redline a 200-page M&A agreement.
Complete Story: Online Help
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Robyn Weisman, FANZINE, creative nonfiction, legal proofreading